kis·met \ˈkiz-ˌmet, -mət\ - noun; often capitalized
1. fate.
"We die. That may be the meaning of life. But we do language.
That may be the measure of our lives." - Toni Morrison

"Growing up Southern is a privilege, really. It's more than where you're born; it's an idea and state of mind that seems imparted at birth. It's more than loving fried chicken, sweet tea, football, and country music. It’s being hospitable, devoted to front porches, magnolias, moon pies, coca-cola... and each other. We don't become Southern - we're born that way." - Unknown

27 February 2009

why does the past come back to haunt us?

Maybe I’m just having a ‘woe is me’ moment, but we’re all entitled to those every once and again; right?

On Tuesday my cat Rhubarb had to be put down. She was really old and really sick. Tuesday was a bad, bad day, but I did get to say goodbye to her over the phone. She died 4 days before my birthday. Last year, my cat Sammy died the day after my birthday. So, you see, this week was already haunting me with not so pleasant memories of my birthday from last year; what's a few more bad memories to tack onto my birthday week? And why my cats insist on celebrating my birthday by dying, I haven't quite figured out yet. Anyhow. At this rate, by the time I graduate, I won’t have any left.

Now, on to the way my more recent past came back to haunt me.

Earlier today I went to one of the apartments I regularly occupy to do homework among the company of friends. After I had been there a while, another friend came by looking for me so I could share my comments with him on the prologue of his book I read and critiqued for him. After I shared my thoughts I remembered that I hadn’t invited him yet to my birthday party on Saturday. So, I told him if he didn't already have plans for Saturday to plan on stopping by my place for my party. His reply was: "Oh yeah. Your birthday is on Saturday. You're going to be old...But still not old enough." I was utterly shocked and completely caught off guard. I had no witty come-back. I had no smart retort. I had no words. All I could do was sit there staring at him, wide eyed, with my mouth open, stammering, wracking my brain trying to come up with some sort of response. But alas, no inspiration struck. I could only manage to get out a few "uhs". I honestly couldn’t believe he said that to me. {especially considering everything that happened before} A few minutes later, he came back by and apologized, but my feelings were {and are} still incredibly hurt. I accepted his apology whole heartedly because he was definitely sincere about it {I could tell that he really did feel bad} but it's still the fact that those words came out of his mouth, directed at me, for the second time no less! I most definitely wasn’t expecting that today; or ever again, really. Twice was plenty.


PN said...

It happened again with this guy? How could he say something like that? It's an such a strange way to treat a girl. Anyway you are awesome. I hope you finished your paper.

lotusgirl said...

Poor Rhubarb! She had a long lovely life though. Sammy was getting up there too. The others are young. I think you're safe.

Happy Birthday tomorrow!

That guy is so dense it hurts. Sheesh!

Karen said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Karen said...

I have been censored...I agree with Lois on the density matter and I think this guy just needs to get over himself.

Is that better? :)

PN said...


Connie said...

I hope you plan to celebrate your birthday for at least a week or more!!!! sorry about Rhubarb, I remember he/she as a I have had a big birthday and can't remember stuff like whether you had a girl kitty or a boy LOL

some guys...sheesh!

Happy, Happy Birthday.